Episode 41
The Feeling You Fear Holds the Key to Your Freedom
One of the biggest complexities I see in clients after the death of a loved one—especially a parent—is the silent tug-of-war between their beliefs and your own.
It shows up like an invisible thread of guilt still bonding you.
Letting go feels like betrayal.
Staying bound feels like loyalty.
But the truth is, when you hold onto them where they were, you’re betraying the natural rhythm of life—
and even breaking your life-force bond with the divine
Most of this happens at the subconscious level.
Tune in to discover why this feeling is so important to move through.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Unshakeable Women
Podcast, the place to remember who
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:you are, empower trust in your own
instincts, and unleash the co-creative
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:life you're here to love through.
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:I'm your host, Jody Rodin, ball Intuitive
Leader, master relationship healer,
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:and high performance guide here to
help you embody your Muslim less self
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:through intimate stories, timeless
wisdom, and potent transmissions.
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:You'll remember the unshakable
force that lives within you.
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:The one that's here to create the
most expansive story your soul has
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:ever told in all the history of ever.
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:So breathe into your body.
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:One of the biggest complexities
I see in clients is guilt.
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:And when you look at the energetics of
guilt, guilt shows up as survivor's guilt.
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:When my people are good people and they're
doing good things, they feel this sense of
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:guilt because they're responsible people.
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:Now, obviously after the death of
a loved one, especially a parent,
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:we feel this survivor's guilt.
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:Or in my case, my husband, absolutely, my
first husband felt the survivor's guilt.
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:But also it shows up when you
outgrow your parents or when you're
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:trying to outgrow your parents.
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:And it doesn't matter if you've had a good
relationship with them or not, because
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:our biggest fear is not the fear of
death or success, but the fear of loss,
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:And this is the stress portion
of PTSD survivor's guilt, or we
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:can also call it thriver's guilt.
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:Because that's what it is.
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:It's it's guilt that you feel
because you're thriving, because
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:you're outgrowing your family.
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:It's like this silent tug of war between
their beliefs and your own beliefs and
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:this feeling that you don't wanna let
go, even if their beliefs are shit.
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:It shows up like an invisible
thread of guilt, still bonding you.
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:And letting go feels like betrayal,
even if you didn't get along with
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:them, even if there was complexities
or compounding grief that has occurred
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:because there wasn't an amazing
relationship because staying bound
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:feels like loyalty, but the truth is.
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:When you hold onto them where they
are and where they were, you're
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:betraying the natural rhythm of
life and even breaking your own life
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:force with God, with the divine.
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:And most of this happens
at a subconscious level.
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:You might name the guilt like,
I'm alive and they're not here.
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:I should have, I could have.
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:What if all of those things are obvious?
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:But it's almost never the root
cause, almost never when a
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:loved one leaves the physical.
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:This is how I see it.
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:When a loved one leaves the physical,
the assignment is always to elevate life.
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:It's, it's why we're here.
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:They don't even have
to leave the physical.
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:The whole reason we are living,
breathing humans is to elevate life.
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:We're here to increase life.
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:That's why we're all here.
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:So to take the wisdom that they
gave you and expand on that.
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:Or you might be thinking, well,
they didn't give me any wisdom.
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:If you believe that they didn't give you
any wisdom, it's because you're still
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:feeling lower aspect emotions that are
causing you to still be triggered by them.
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:Because if you were activated
by them, you're actually in an
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:opportunity frequency, and when
you're in an opportunity frequency,
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:you can see the wisdom in it.
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:And so when we are here to increase life,
not only for yourself, but for others
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:too, it's easier when the bond was full
of love and respect and mutual honor.
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:And even then it's still hard.
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:But guilt becomes, in
this scenario, a portal.
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:A portal to your breakthrough.
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:It's like, the way I see
it is like a doorway.
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:You have to feel an aspect of
guilt and own the guilt that you
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:feel for leaving people behind
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:'cause that's what it is.
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:But you're not leaving anyone
behind if you decide to move,
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:because the only way that the bond
will break or recreate itself is
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:on the other side of this portal.
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:And most of the time, many times
you don't know whether or not.
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:They're going to come with you,
but you are like a thermostat.
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:You hold the the key.
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:You are the one because
you're doing the work.
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:Okay?
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:It's not all on you.
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:Like obviously other
people have free will.
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:They get to choose what they want, do
what they want, uh, have their own plan.
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:But when we move.
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:Through guilt, like it's a portal, it's an
initiation that we have to walk through.
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:Either the people that weren't
rising will rise with you, or on
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:the other side is going to something
beyond your own human understanding.
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:What makes this difficult is when the
bond was fractured, when you were a
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:child, or disrupted in some way, or when
disconnection actually began at birth.
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:I see this a lot in clients
where the disconnection literally
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:began in the womb or at birth.
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:What happens is the psyche often
retraces that break literally
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:looping back in the energy instead
of moving forward in your own energy.
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:I hope that makes sense.
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:It makes perfect sense.
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:When I see it, it makes perfect sense and,
and every single time that I see it in
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:the energetics or in the patterns and in
the behaviors of what someone is doing.
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:But I see so many people stay stuck
here for years, sometimes even decades.
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:It's as if they're secretly
dying to reconnect with the past.
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:And no, it doesn't make sense because
it doesn't make logical sense.
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:It isn't logical.
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:It's subc.
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:It is programmed and conditioned inside
of the body and the mind's operating
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:system, which includes the body.
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:And then what happens when you retrace
the past is you become the very shadow
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:that you were always meant to transcend.
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:So a lot of times when I'm working
with my clients through this process,
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:there comes this point where you
feel like you're going backward.
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:And when I'm here and I'm seeing
where they are, I understand
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:the process of transformation
like nobody's freaking business.
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:So I understand where they are in
the process, and I can actually
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:show them that no, you're, you're
not actually going backwards.
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:You're retracing some of the
energetic steps that need to be
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:retraced with me as your guide.
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:Right.
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:Like if you didn't have me as your guide,
it's very, very possible that not only
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:you retrace, but you actually go down.
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:You go down with the ship.
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:Okay.
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:And sometimes clients, as they're
retracing, depending on how deep the
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:wounding is, sometimes it will feel like
they are going under and they're not.
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:I'm right here, I'm showing them the way.
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:And when I'm here and we're working
through the energetics of the healing
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:on the emotional level, on the spiritual
level, on the mental level, on the
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:physical level, in the relational level,
all of these levels we're moving forward.
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:But there's a temporary aspect that
pulls them into the energetics so
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:that those energetics inside of the
body, inside of the mind can be.
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:Brought to surface and released.
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:Now I call PTSD, post-traumatic
Loss Dysfunction.
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:Listen to this carefully.
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:What happens in the energetics
of PTSD is there is some sort of
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:disruption in that disruption causes.
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:Disconnection and destabilization.
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:And when you stay in that frequency,
in those dynamics for too long, when
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:you don't do the work to release
the dysfunction, to release the
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:destabilization inside of your body.
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:That destabilization over a period of time
now creates a dysfunction, and that is the
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:deepest cause of stress, the fear of loss.
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:And from there, you either move
through guilt or you get stuck in it.
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:And when you're stuck in it, you
oscillate between guilt, which
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:has a frequency of 30 hertz.
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:All emotions have been measured
in frequencies and guilt
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:has a frequency of 30 hertz.
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:Guilt says, I did something bad.
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:Choosing life feels like a betrayal
and shame has a frequency of 20 hurt.
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:Yes.
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:Shame says, I am bad.
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:I am not enough.
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:And what guilt actually does is it
stirs up anxiety, this fear of loss.
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:And what shame does is
it sinks into depression.
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:This collapsed depressed state.
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:The body stays destabilized.
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:And when the body stays destabilized,
it's hard to say all at once when the
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:body stays destabilized and now it's
in this full on dysfunctional state.
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:Now it just becomes your operating system.
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:It becomes part of your character.
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:And this isn't just about death.
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:Remember this survivor's guilt
doesn't just happen after death.
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:It happens after any profound
loss, divorce, estrangement, loss
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:of job, betrayal, rejection.
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:It also happens.
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:And not a lot of people are talking
about this in midlife changes huge.
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:Because in our midlife changes, what
happens in midlife is we retrace
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:those childhood memories that are
still stuck inside of our body.
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:And so the frequency with which we were
raised in is the frequency pattern that.
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:We become like we move through in midlife.
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:So all of these hormones are depleted.
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:They're dropping down, dropping like
flies, and when they're dropping down, our
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:body goes into that state of resistance,
that fight, flight, or freeze response.
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:And in that response, the body remembers.
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:Especially the more triggered you were as
a child, the more destabilized you were as
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:a child, the greater your midlife changes
will cause disruption in your life.
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:No freaking doubt about it.
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:Now, what is midlife?
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:Midlife is the, the how I see
it and how I talk about it.
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:Is that point where we begin to
go through perimenopause and men,
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:they're not even teaching this.
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:Nobody is even talking about this.
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:I hope my sound quality is okay.
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:It seems like a million
planes have gone by.
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:I've got the windows open.
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:It's a beautiful day and I'm
just continuing to record here.
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:So not a lot of people
are talking about that.
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:This goes on with men too.
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:I call it.
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:Menopause, but essentially they're
going through the same thing.
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:It's just that women talk about these
things more, but with the men, when
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:their testosterone drops, they go right
back into the childhood patterning and
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:sometimes it's completely destructive.
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:All of these, you know, we can look
at it a hundred different ways.
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:You have your Chiron return
midlife, you have which is huge.
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:Absolutely huge.
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:Even if you don't believe it,
even if you don't buy into it,
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:even if you don't study it.
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:It's still happening.
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:So we can cut it down like that.
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:We can look at it as menopause
or menopause or pre menopause
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:or pre menopause, whatever
we wanna call it there.
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:But also this midlife crisis.
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:It's all the same thing.
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:All the same thing.
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:And it's the men.
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:Who have been traditionally looked
at as having a midlife crisis.
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:Now we are looking at it more for
women in that sense, but it has been
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:traditionally said that the men are
the ones that have the midlife crisis.
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:It is across the freaking board,
but I promise you it goes back
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:to those patterns, behaviors that
your body remembers as a child.
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:I experienced this myself, my
body, my mind, my thinking, my
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:thoughts brought me back to the
fear state that I was in as a child.
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:And let me tell you, I was a scared child.
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:I felt things all the time.
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:I have no idea how I even
slept most of the time.
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:I was, I was awake at night.
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:I was literally too
scared to scream at night.
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:I was frozen.
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:So my default tendency is to freeze.
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:I go into freeze state.
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:It's like a terror.
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:I can't move now, it never got that bad,
but the anxious feeling inside of my body
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:was freaking off the charts, going through
menopause and all of that experience.
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:And it lasted four years because many
times you're, when we talk about midlife.
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:We're, we we're talking about,
it could be like 38 to 65.
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:That's a big window, and there's
a lot of physical changes
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:going on during those stages.
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:So each of these critical life
events, another critical life
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:event is the birth of a child
that sends some men over the edge.
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:Over the edge.
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:They don't know how to
handle that physical change.
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:And, and women, for women, for us,
it's like, it's like we are supposed
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:to, we're supposed to know what to do.
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:We're supposed to be, it's
supposed to be a really good thing.
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:You guys birth can be very traumatic.
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:Very traumatic.
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:I mean, suddenly you're
responsible for this.
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:For this human, it's all up to
you to keep this human alive, and
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:it begins literally in the womb,
that bond or that disconnection.
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:So each of these events can
ignite PTLD, post-traumatic
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:loss dysfunction inside of you.
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:But here's where we become unchained.
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:Because once you see it for what it is
and you release it, you no longer mistake
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:guilt for loyalty or shame for truth.
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:You'll then actually remember,
this is part of the assignment.
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:Part of the assignment is to live.
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:Part of the assignment is to leave
the home better than you came into it.
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:To expand, to evolve, to grow,
to create all of these things.
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:That is the assignment.
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:So once you actually see the guilt
and that feeling behind it, that
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:is the core cause that takes you
sometimes way back to childhood.
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:We heal it.
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:Because in the exposure is
the first level of healing.
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:Now, it doesn't get down to the
nitty gritty depths of it, but
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:it will provide you some relief.
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:A relief enough that you don't feel that
you need to numb it out in some way.
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:But if you are somebody who is
here, if you know that you are
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:here to break the freaking chains.
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:Of the generations before you, not
in judgment, but in this knowing that
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:you're here to lead new generational
love and new generational wealth,
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:then then you have deeper work to do.
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:If you have been the black sheep of your
family, if you have stood out, if you
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:are the one that does the deeper inner
work, You are the one here to heal this
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:and to break the chains, and this is what
we do in The Embodied Woman, and this
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:is what we do in private work with me.
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:So I hope you enjoyed this episode.
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:If you have questions ever,
please hop to Instagram.
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:At Jodi Augh and share what questions
you have so that then I can speak to him.
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:I am a manifesting generator by human
design, and I am here to respond
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:to your questions, and I freaking
love when you have questions.
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:Until next time.
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:I hope you enjoyed today's transmission.
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:If you found this valuable, we
would love to know by giving us
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:your five star rating and review.
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:And of course, by sharing the
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:Hop into the show notes for
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:ways we can work together.
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:Until next time, much love.
